Yes, this is my first blog after 888 years i guess. But i guess this shall be a meaningful entry before the end of 2009.
This year, a lot has happened and i really must say that Life has greater and much more meaningful purpose for me. My life evolves around my family, Reen, cousins and Jaws SC. Of course, there’s school for me which i am already into my final 2 terms at this point. Work is out for me for now, as i pursue my degree and lead the charge for Jaws SC in terms of management of several tasks on a week to week basis.
The reason why i chose to post this is really because i want to assure people who know me, to know that my life may have a different purpose to them. To some, life’s about working and working, which i totally respect that. At some point of time, i will be working hard for my own independence, family support and even for my children. At 28 years old, being a full time student brings some critics for me, from who i am not fully aware of. Fair enough, one person stood out to ‘advise’ me by urging me to be more competitive to make myself more employable after June 2010. However, that doesnt allow him or anyone else to label me as someone who brings burden to my parents or someone who is happy to let Reen wait for me to go down on my knees. As an elder brother, perhaps, you might feel you have the God given authority to tell me how to handle my life. But please ask yourself first, have you really fulfil your own responsibilities and role of an elder brother. Being an elder brother to Ming, i not only scolds, advises or consoles Ming, but i really share my life as much as possible with him in terms of soccer, going out together regularly, having heart-to-heart talks. Most importantly, i show Ming that i am willing to accept him as who he is and his life goals and aspirations. As brothers, Ming and me share an intimate bond which we truly treasure. There are nobody else that i feel more grateful to have than my own parents, who supported me unconditionally all my life. I am thankful for all the love and care which they provides me with and it has been really fulfilling to be able to draw much closer to them during this ‘unemployment’ period of mine. During their difficult periods of worrying and crying about a major family problem, i am there to provide empathy and also love from a son. Nothing hurts more than to see your loved ones hurt, especially which the culprit is also someone i love too.
Life teaches me to value love, family, having a good sense of responsibility, being gracious and more importantly to be closer to God. At 28, i am better as a person being more toned down and looking to the future to be a son that never forgets his parents and being a responsible husband and father. Obviously, i am not the sort who tries to find excuses not to work. To achieve my family aspirations, i will need to generate a sound amount of income. This makes me wonder why did someone labelled me as a ‘burden’ to my family. Perhaps when you are not close to your siblings and closer to people who talked in such manner about me caused you to agree with them on this point. Perhaps, when you see more successful 28 year olds out there having better careers caused you to think that i am losing out to those people. Now, ask yourself this question: Are all those ‘’successful” 28 year olds you came across being blessed with getting such great unconditional love from parents and their family? Do you know? I bet you have no idea how they are doing in these aspects. What you get to see are all the nice things on the surfaces and people will project. Obviously, people wont reveal their dark secrets to you when you are not close to them. Life has a greater meaning to it than just about work and money. Some people are motivated by work and money and some others are motivated by family and social aspirations. The key thing is whether they are happy having a life the way they choose to have. For me, i am very grateful and happy with mine, BUT that does not pertain that i am contented at all. As i shared, my life aspiration is family and there’s no doubt that i will be proudly work my ass off in future to achieve my goals. I am no longer your teenage brother that you can just come once in 2 weeks to tell me what is best for my life. What both Ming and me would love is perhaps NOT being second to your wife for the 1st time ever since you know her JUST for an outing for all 3 brothers to share their lives and bond together? If you spend half your energy impressing your parents and brothers than impressing your wife, perhaps you might not be as isolated as it has been for years. Nobody pushed yourself to be in this situation but yourself. You claimed that you were not welcomed to my soccer team and that i have forgotten about you teaching me how to play soccer. God knows that you are welcome to Jaws but perhaps it’s you that make yourself feeling this way. Because you are not confident of your own blood’s love as you have much more faith in someone else. You hurt me so much by trying to ‘advise’ me, but i am strong and matured enough not to be affected by your words. I forgive you and i still love you as my elder brother. I love Da Sao too as she’s really a nice lady. But, really, instead of worrying about me, you guys really need to solve your own problems and stop causing any hurt to my parents. All due respect, it’s a problem that lasted over a decade and it is so serious because you cause grief to your own parents and worst of all, God is watching over all of us. As Papa says, God is all knowing and merciful to those who remembers him.
God gave me a precious life which i intend to live it to the fullest. If i go tomorrow, i want to make sure that i have no regrets at all as i do give my absolutely best to make all my loved ones happy. Life has many great battles and i really hope to overcome them and learn from them too. I can make plans, but God will have better plans for me. Faith is really what i want to strengthen in God and all my loved ones. For all the good in life, i am thankful and grateful of it. I truly appreciate all the good i get: best parents, great brother in Ming, Lovely Reen, adoring cousins and also a great soccer team in Jaws. Life showed me that when i appreciate good things, there are better things to look ahead for. Although i am aware for constant battles ahead in life, i feel brave to face those challenges because i have such good people in my life to support me whenever i need it. Even if i fail, i know that they will be there to help me back up. All these cannot be bought with money and i will never ever trade them for money. I thank God for these blessings and there’s no doubt in my 28 years of life, it’s simply the greatest gift of love.
Insyallah, i will continue to learn and prosper next year in 2010.









