AyyuB’s journey of LiFe

People i adore ABSOLUTELY!

Last Friday, we celebrated Im’s 18th Birthday @ West Coast Plaza. Im is such one lovely coolest cousin ever. I can still remember how quiet he was, replying one or the famous 2 words answers like,” What sia!!” Despite his cute and small frame, Im has immense character. Nobody will think, judging from his appearance that he is quite a hell of a table tennis player. In football, Im’s both legged and he is very calm on the ball, almost playing like Santon of Inter Milan. What he lacks is self confidence, but that will take some time and much encouragement from the band of cousins like myself, Faiz, Ming and Diki.

After reading Ela’s blog, i cant help but realise how much we all love one another! (All in the picture above) Ela’s post was so sweet and really uncharacteristic of her, because all she talks and blog are 99% about her besties and Korean boybands. LOL. As a group, we have really bonded and made it a point to have a gathering from time to time. Ela has always be there for our gatherings and always be much appreciated and loved by all of us always. Faiz may crack lame jokes and ask the most obvious of questions, but he too has always shown how JiWa he is towards all of us. Ming and Haz are the 2nd oldest couple after Baby & myself, somehow rather, Haz has always bring out the best behavior out of my little notorious brother, similar how i am still under the love spell of Nureen. Diki has finally rekindled his bond with all of us after 2 yrs of exile during his national service, much to our relief especially for Ming and Ela because of the strong chemistry between all 3 of them being born in the same year. Nureen has grown to be the Big Sister or ”DaJie” of the lot, which made me feel so fortunate to have a sweetheart that loves my family members too.

In one line, one sentence, one paragraph, one post or one lifetime perhaps, will never be enough for me to express my love for all of them. I can only hope that we continue to grow even closer in years to come because one day, all of us will be parents of our own blood and it’s our duty to show the perfect example of ”Blood will always be thicker than water”.

”People i adore”. Period.

It was Sunday evening, Mak( my grandma) was at home when i came back from soccer together with Baby, Ming and Haz. Abang and DaSao was home too, all turning up to be a pleasant family gathering. It’s been some time since Mak slept over at my house, so i personally felt happy to mingle and to chat with her given the opportunity. Mak slept in Ming’s room on that Sunday night, looking all fine and was able to move up and down the stairs without any signs of difficulty.

The very next morning, i was up early at 10am to finish up my case studies and assignments and was ready to leave home for school at 11.40am. My parents were out to send our expresso machine for servicing and Mak was downstairs in the living room alone at that time. Then, Mak asked me to help her up to the toilet and told me that her left knee was in severe pain and couldnt stand up on her own. The pain was more serious than i have expected. She was trembling with pain and kept praying to God to help her battle her physical pain. She could barely get to standing position and thus she tried to crawl towards the staircase as the pain was just overbarring. I quickly grabbed the 2 huge pillows from my living room and placed it below her face just in case her hands gave way and might result in her falling down face first. I got her to turn around to sit facing up and i lifted her slowly, towards the stairs, then slowly up the stairs, step by step. It all took more than half an hour, just to reach the second floor. I called Mama and asked her to come home immediately as Mak cannnot be left alone at home. Then,i helped her to stand up by carrying her weighton my shoulders and helped her to the toilet. It was really painful for Mak, through my sweats, i cant help but noticed her facial expressions and constant pleas for God to ease the pain. It felt really painful for me to see a loved one in such a state but i was happy to be the one that helped her out.Once my parents were home, with Mak finally able to rest on the bed then Papa sent me to school.

Later that Monday, my uncle whom Mak has been residing with all these times came to visit her. Little then i expect, my uncle decided to send Mak to hosipital. I tried to convince him to let Mak rest for a day first before calling the ambulance. I failed. Off we went to NUH, Im followed me to accompany Mak in the ambulance. We reached NUH at about 8.15pm. After the registration, screenings and several medical procedures, we had no idea that the swollen knee of Mak’s can be anymore serious. Temperature checks, blood pressure readings, X-Ray, blood samples were taken and Mak was given pain-killers in form of tablets and an injection. The time read 1am and we were told that Mak will be admitted to the ward for more observations to what was the cause of the inflammation. After Mak finally got to her ward, i kissed her on the forehead and told her i will be back to see her the next day.

All along, i can see her expressions on her face and sense her uneasiness. I sense her shockness of needing to be warded. Mak has never been admitted into a hospital she never had any medical problems except for her bad knee achings. As i left, i could feel her sadnesses being left in the hospital alone with other strangers. ”It’s ok,if i get better tomorrow,i will head home,” That thought must have ran through her mind.

Tuesday came, the astonishing news from the doctor that they suspect Mak of having Leukemia. What the heck? From a swollen knee to Leukemia? In the evening, almost the whole family was there to visit Mak. Almost immediately, the staff needed to take Mak to another X-Ray. Mama asked me to follow but i wasnt sure if i was allowed to do so. Then, Mak called out for me and asked me to accompany her. Since the previous day, i was right up there to push Mak in the wheelchair whereever she went. Mak calling out for me made me feel really appreciated. As we go through the proceedings, i found out that other than pain-killers given to Mak, a painful injection to collect some ‘water’ from her left knee was done the night before after everyone left the hospital. But the message was loud and clear from Mak to me, she doesnt want to go through more tests. After the X-Ray, my uncles tried to convince Mak to let the doctor do a painful procedure to collect a sample from her bone marrow to determine if she have cancer or not. I cant help but walked away, feeling pretty digusted that Mak constant rejects were ignored.

Tomorrow morning, my uncles, aunties and Mama will be meeting the doctor to discuss the recommended treatment or procedures. I cant stop worrying about the outcome as i really hate to see Mak suffering from more pain. The positive sights were evident, Mak was feeling much lesser pain and was even able to stand up on her own and walk! Of course, the knee wasnt completely healed but there was hugh improvements compared to the day before. Apart from the ones that saw how much pain Mak had the night before, the rest had little idea that Mak was in fact improving her condition so much. Sadly, nobody asked me how bad was Mak’s knee and what happened. All that matters is what the doctors say. I believe that it was a genuine knee injury and for Mak’s age, it will certainly take some time to let the pain go away completely. Me being one to suffer from severe knee ligament injuries, i knew that rest is essential. The doctors cannot determine if Mak has the disease until they get the green light to do a biopsy from Mak. The problem is many will persuade or perhaps end up forcing Mak to go through the biopsy. I am no doctor, but i do my research. I have many shared experiences from friends about having their loved ones going through more and more operations and still ended up losing them sadly. One close friend of mine lost his beloved mom without having the chance to say his goodbyes despite being outside the operating room. Many other shared experiences and my research by reading related books and articles online gives my gut a really bad feeling… I wondered if anyone in the family are even finding out more information about the issue and the procedures and all the possibilities that can derive from a major decision tomorrow morning. Why am i feeling like this? We all love Mak the same way and we all share the best interests for Mak.

Even after numerous research on ”Biopsy and Seedings”, i pray to God that Mak will come good. I want to help to take care of her, help her gain her health and energy levels. Will God grant me this task? Insyallah…